the aftermath

I woke up early today.

Not by choice, mind you; my mom did the “waking” and my body did the “up”. The only thing my mind consciously responded to was to issue (from my mouth) a declaration of very emotionally charged disapproval to the prospect of being awoken from the deepest recesses of slumberland for something as stupid as work.

That declaration, unsurprisingly, was a very loud and emphatic WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

What a start to a year of work, hmm? It’s one of those kinds of mornings where your throat feels dry and your head feels heavy and your bed feels extra-comfy and warm to the touch. There’s this fog of lethargy in the air around your head, deadening your senses, making you feel like the walking dead. Man, if you thought about the things in 2012-2013, things aren’t going to get better – book-ins, regimented life, being trapped somewhere while at least 10 assholes hanker after my girlfriend (suspicion! PARANOIA!), all that shit.

—

I turned this thing on and it lifted my mood a little…. okay, I admit, having breakfast helped a little. The way to a man’s heart (and from there, his mind) is his stomach; toast and tea worked out perfectly. I think at the end of the day it all boils down to taking the ups with the downs; letting the upsides of life carry you through the shitty downsides.

I recall my boss (at the pool place), Andrew, telling me that I had to form good habits because when I got older my habits would dictate my life – you know, the standard old-wise-man jazz when people in their 40s feel like channelling abit of Gandalf or Dumbledore into themselves. I decided to play along and told him “but.. Andrew ah, good habits so much harder to form than bad habits leh” and he was all OF COURSE LAH! in that exasaperated tone and then he restarted his lecture on why I should give my mom 20% of my pay.

It’s a little like that, actually. I think the shitty things in life will constantly threaten to overwhelm you but you need just enough good to tide you over, or rather just enough bad to let you know just how precious the little things are, like your mom’s toast and a cup of tea  in the morning. a cup of tea is a cup of tea; a cup of tea for a rather blue morning is a salve for the weary soul.

And so things go, and so I go back to work.

clubs, hearts, diamonds and spades / 2012

i have to stop blogging only after extremely long nights/days outside because everything is messy. it’s more or less #trufax when i’m saying that i haven’t actually been sleeping since.. LAST YEAR!

GEE! SHOCK! HORROR!

–

i recall talking about the Bartle Test of Gamer Psychology with Mel and Ben while we were killing time at Bugis; Mel mentioned something about being an obsessive collector and i mentioned that she was one of four suits: the diamond, or as it’s named in the wiki link, the Achiever (because achievers are attracted to shiny things, hence the title ‘diamonds’).

Other than the Diamonds, there are the Hearts/Socializers, Clubs/Killers and Spades/Explorers. Ben later said he was a more Spade/Club type (you know, the PVP sort that attempts to have absolute optimum gear etc) whereas I’ve always thought of myself more of a Spade/Heart type, being the guy who was always conceptually a genius (but technically inept). Brilliant plans, no executions.

—

speaking of collecting things; i’ve added two books to my piss-poor collection of books – Haruki Murakami’s Kafka on the Shore and Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s The Little Prince. it’s a choice made with both joy and sorrow; i honestly didn’t expect to find Murakami novels in Kinokuniya but i guess they’re banking on the Norwegian Wood bandwagon (although those novels are significantly different from the more recollective style of Norwegian Wood).

I had to pass up this other compilation novel of his, titled Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman though. All things considered, short stories having less propensity for mind-fuck-itiude, I could probably have taxed my brain less if I took that one, but oh, sweet Lord, I’m finally getting a chance to read Kafka on the Shore.

I think I took The Little Prince because it (primarily) looked absolutely beautiful; it’s not the sort of book where it’ll rot, yellow and decay with time – the pages are a different quality of paper and the illustrations within are coloured. i think there’s a certain sort of ‘vintage value’ to the book, but you know, fuck me, I have no taste in anything other people consider ‘vintage’. Besides, I could finally get down to reading the damn story because I never really had a chance to do it until.. now.

it’s not all fun, joy and nerd-gasms, though. I passed up on Joseph Keller’s Catch-22 because I failed miserably in trying to explain what a catch-22 was to Mel. also passed up on Lolita, the Catcher in the Rye and this complete collection of Tolkien’s books, and also some Neil Gaiman novels (although i DID manage to persuade Mel to get Good Omens.. heh) and also some Mitch Albom novels which I’ve been wanting to read.. but the novels themselves are fucking overpriced.

i swear, all of that didn’t quite hurt as much as not being able to find a single copy of The Great Gatsby – that was fucking ridiculous. I mean, they had this ‘the essential Fitzgerald’ thing going on sale but it was a whopping 70 odd bucks for like 4 novels. fuck that. what the hell, man. they had things like Jodi Picoult stocked to the brim but NO NO NO they couldn’t stock individual copies of The Great Gatsby.. and now I don’t even need to skip lectures to read it too.

talk about shitty timing.

but still, i like my haul, even though it DID set me back like about 30 dollars for my next paycheck, not counting the massive withstanding debt that i’ve only managed to skirt around by breaking into my savings (which were supposed to go towards bringing me a nice new set of headphones/my own stylo mylo watch/etc) and taking everything.

i guess that nerdgasm moment was worth every bit of money i spent, though. i mean, holy fucking jesus, it’s Kafka on the Shore!

—-

in more ways than one i have decided that  -this- will be my theme song of 2012. i have a feeling that it’s going to be a tough year ahead with NS and all that.. which is precisely why i have to man the fuck up and start dealing with.. it, whatever it is.

i’m dropping this post here. it’s a new year, gentlemen (and the occasional lady reader). i’m quite curious as to see what this year will bring.